By DC Green | 21 August 2009
The holo-vid showed emergency ejecto-exits, spew-bag placements and frequent-wormer duty-free discounts. The hostess asked that no one smoke, have sex, lay eggs, moult or self-combust in the toilets. More >

By DC Green | 20 August 2009
‘Well… yep.’ I almost smiled. ‘But this isn’t your fault. I should be dying there, not Annie. When I was crouched in that tube, looking into Darth Staker’s eyes, I just… crumbled. Like a turd beneath three suns. But Annie stood up to him. Her ovaries are ten times the size of my balls!’ More >

By DC Green | 19 August 2009
The curved figure stood at the Dense City Beach shore-break, waving his sword and yellow penis. ‘I have trained my entire life for this moment: to be the first of my people to compete in a Cosmic Surf War!’ The banana bowed stiffly, and I do mean stiffly, and paddled out. More >

By DC Green | 18 August 2009
Planet Dense is about to host a qualifying contest for the ultra-violent Cosmic Surf Wars. Local shaper Crusty Carl has entered hot-rat twins, Zack and Annie Carver. We join Zack, your narrator today, at the competitors’ dinner… More >

By DC Green | 17 August 2009
I chuckled. Sweating in the back paddock, all around me steel-cows happily crapped and rooted. Those dopey grass-chompers had sex lives that shat steaming 50-kilogram cow-pats all over mine! More >