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Dark Sparkes: The Death Nose

Shaper walks into a bar, barman asks, "Why the pointy nosed surfboard?" David Sparkes is that barman.
Sparkes_100 Shaper walks into a bar, barman asks, “Why the pointy nosed surfboard?” David Sparkes is that barman.

 BEN EVANS NSW - SPARKES 003
Ben Evans.

Jet fighter planes. Rockets. Arrows. These things are designed for achieving high speeds through air, or space, and the essential idea of the pointed nose is minimal drag. As a trippy aesthetic side effect, they happen to look damn cool, all spear and sabre-like; they look a million bucks! If you apply this design concept to water, a decidedly more viscous medium than air, the equation will still work. The water is parted and sliced like a meat clever through a side of beef. Ok, fair enough. That’s great for the bow of a ship or the nose of a torpedo, and even for the fins on a surfboard. Necessary evils all. All of these things are actually in the water. But the NOSE of a surfboard? Hmm…

BEN SOUNESS - SPARKES

Ben Souness.

When surfboard lengths started coming down back in the late ’60’s (yes Henry, I know history isn’t linear and there are many isolated and random cases of short boards way earlier than that, but for the sake of some kind of coherent discussion, can we just assume the late ’60’s as a point of reference? Ta), the outlines obviously evolved a more streamlined shape. That stands to reason, as the boards were becoming more refined, more maneuverable, more . . . fish-like. In respect of this evolution, noses were always going to become more pulled in, narrower. This concept really came to an extreme with the introduction of Geoff McCoy and Cheyne Horan’s “no nose” design, as they were called when they appeared around 1980. The plan shapes of those boards, radical single fins that they were, featured a wide point behind centre, and were really the first short boards designed to be essentially ridden off the tail. Note: Interestingly, Simon Anderson has stated that this design feature was one of the elements he applied to the first Thrusters. The astonishing acceleration of the three fin set up gave that no nose plan shape the firepower, the engine room, it needed to really get the most out of the wider tail.

DUNNY - MARSHALLS - SPARKES

Ben Dunn.

All good then, noses became almost tuna or wahoo shaped, a fair enough approach given that surfers wanted surfboards to go fast and also to be very maneuverable – this combination being in a sense the Holy Grail of board design. And for a while, as long as boards were still reasonably thick, that was fairly harmless. But as boards became increasingly thinner and more blade-like, some of those noses became virtual swords. They are, in some cases, ridiculous!

JAMIE O PIPE - SPARKES007

Jamie O’Brien.

Now when it comes to fins, I get it. They are submerged, they are actually part of the equation as to why a board works. They’re doing stuff! Even so, some of them are like razors and I still sand mine a bit rounder on the edges than they are when they come out of the box. (I wonder if Joel Parkinson, who nearly lost his foot to a razor fin last year, sands his these days?) But if you’re happy to risk some blood and bone to get the optimum performance from your surfboard, good luck to you – just don’t run me over, even if I’ve blown it and am in the way.

JOE HADDON NTH NSW - SPARKES

Joe Haddon.

Noses though? Sorry, I just don’t get it. Sure, the major area of the nose of a board is doing plenty performance wise, and most of it is regularly in the water, particularly during gouging, railed up turns out of the lip or heavy duty bottom turns. But I defy any shaper to convince me of the need for that last inch or so of sheer, ferocious pointiness! What the fuck is that for, apart from poking eyes out? Can you really justify that evil rapier in terms of function? Certainly it could be rounded to at least a 10 cent piece radius, or even two bob, without losing any performance. And if any was lost, how significant could it really be, especially in respect of the risks of the alternative? It is time for a reality check here. That point is there for no other reason than because it looks cool.

MADA SUDANA NSW - SPARKES 022

Mada Sudana.

I speak from experience here, but I was lucky enough to get my pointy nose in the eye in 1980, when boards were still chunky enough to prevent the thing taking my eye right out, but it was a close call, and my eyelid was actually hanging by a thread. If I’d had the same wipeout with your average nose profile today, I’d have lost the eye for sure. An eye for an eye is one thing, but an eye for a sexy looking surfboard? Wow, what a bargain.

PHIL MACCA - JAVA - SPARKES

Phil Macca.

So shapers, you guys know more about design than me, so explain it to me. Explain it to your customers. Explain it to your kids when you give them their sleek little 5’1″ space stick with a skewer for a nose. This is an open forum, so please leave a comment, tell me why I’m wrong. And if you can do that, then please tell me what makes the risk of those noses so worth it. I’m all ears.

WILKO - NSW - SPARKES

Wilko.

– Words and photos by David Sparkes [website]

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