There has been some great summer surf, fine weather, and a few shark sightings, but all in, we have had our share of wonderful times, Christmas celebrations and feasting.

The result, for many of us, is boardies that are a little bit too snug, and a smile that creases into an extra chin or two when the first round is poured. Yep, the summer rotundness is upon (some of) us and it’s time to attrite some of that chub right off. We are going to give you a few cool little alternate methods, that don’t involve gym, to help clean up some of the unwanted podge. 

The best way to lose weight from a zero start is aerobic exercise. That means running. Many surfers have got dodge knees and simply cannot run, so a bike can replace this. A skateboard also works. Find the time, just a short amount of time, like half an hour, and work up a bit of a sweat. Maybe it’s just running up that hill to check the surf out, or running beach to beach, but a good 30 minutes of decent tempo will start the metamorphosis. The most important thing to remember when it comes to aerobic exercise is consistency. Keep at it, day after day, and changes will come.

A cool way of getting a bit of extra training is to go surfing without a leash. No matter how good and conservative you are, you will lose your board and have to go for a swim. A couple of beach swims on top of your normal paddling routine will help burn off a few more calories. Just don’t try this in any area where there are shark sightings or any sort of recent shark attacks, because you might end up losing more than calories.

On the talk of swimming, a great way of losing a few centimeters around the midriff is by hitting the pool for a few laps. This is hard training, and also helps mental conditioning, as it is so repetitious. Sometimes there are pretty girls around, training in tight one-piece cozzies, and for those out there who think a bit laterally, those pretty young girls usually also wee in the pool.

If you want to get away from that, another good option is to go bodysurfing. Same instructions apply; if there has been shark activity in the area, don’t swim. If it’s relatively clear (it’s always going to be relative) then put some swim fins on and go body slamming that shore break. You’ll soon discover that it’s going to wear you out, and wear you thin.

The hardest form of training is to cut down on the beer intake. It has to happen at some stage of pot-holiday recovery, but it is always a challenge. The first post-surf beer is probably the hardest one to give up, as well as the second and third. Beer is empty calories, and a waste of time, even though it is lovely. Don’t think that a whizzo and water is the way to lose weight whilst still getting shit-faced because a double shot of whisky still puts 150 calories into your tummy.

To keep with the pie-hole training, cutting back on your carbohydrates is essential if you want to lose some more summer junk. That means no bread, potatoes and pasta. In fact, nil ex bakery per mouth is the vibe. No doughnuts, no pies. The good part is that protein is ok. So you could cut back on the meat pies, but there’s nothing wrong with a juicy steak instead. Fat is better than carbs when you’re trying to lose weight, so have that streaky bacon with your eggs, but no toast. It’s pointless trying to do Paleo and Banting and all that shit, just cut back on the potatoes and you’ll be amazed at the difference you’ll notice around the belt notches.


Surfing on different equipment. It’s a funny old thing, but the better you get at some physical activity the less it’s going to tax you. By going surfing on similar boards for a couple of years or decades, your subconscious and your conscious mind would have figured out the most efficient way of going about it, in order to save you energy and keep you surfing longer. If you change one aspect of the equation however, your automatic responses, the conditioned reactions to various stimuli, are going to be out of whack and you’re not going to know exactly how best to conserve energy. In other words, riding a different board id going to make you tired. So go and surf on a Beater, or a longboard. Paddle out on a kneeboard and try to figure it out, or even go out on a hand-gun or a lilo. It’ll be different, it’ll be exhausting, but at least you’ll still be surfing.