Mick Fanning’s farewell party was always destined to be one of the biggest nights in pro surfing history. Mick is one of the sport’s most popular identities and, as one attendee pointed out, in an era of ball-tampering cricketers a retiring champion surfer who jousts with sharks is surely the much-loved hero the sporting mainstream needs.
That said; Mick’s farewell was anything but a conservative, mainstream event; it was more a like a giant in-joke for the surfing community. The sort of night where pro surfing stopped striving to be one of those other sports and embraced everything that is unique about its culture. Even Kelly Slater showed up, had a few drinks and told a story about getting in a drunken fight with Mick Fanning.
Arriving at the event I walked straight into Tommy Peterson, who promptly informed me that it was six years to the day since his brother Michael, aka the MP, had passed away. Tommy, who is like a talking time machine with a photographic memory and a drinking problem, was obviously intent on having a good time in honour of his brother and Mick. Out of his top pocket poked a joint the size of a cucumber and each time he emptied his glass of beer he signalled wildly to the circulating waiting staff to refill it. It was obvious that whoever was allocated the seat next to Tommy was going to have an interesting evening.
As the who’s who of the surfing world mingled in the large foyer of the Royal Automobile Club of Victoria, I knew it was important to get a photo of Mick, who was pin-balling around the room; doing his best to have fun while trying to make time for everyone. If you are a fat-fingered, surf hack like myself it’s best to hand photo responsibilities on to a professional. Thankfully veteran photog Teddy Grambeau accepted my request to get the obligatory Insta shot on my phone. Thanks Teddy – one of the true gentleman geniuses of surfing. Check out his new book.
After being ushered into the grand dining room, I checked the table allocation and sure enough it was I who had been seated alongside the self-appointed court jester, Tommy Peterson. Was it a cruel joke by the Gods of surf industry seating arrangements or a fortuitous twist of fate, which would surely add another dimension of fun to the evening?
After Rip Curl Marketing manager, Neil Ridgway, made an entertaining opening address, Rosie Hodge was introduced as the MC. Tommy responded by burping like a bellowing bull and calling for another beer. Rosie it should be said was a most excellent MC for the event. At one point in the evening when Kelly Slater was chatting a little too much in the front row, she looked down from the rostrum like a displeased head-mistress and quipped, “Now Kelly, be quiet, it’s not about you tonight.”
Kelly was invited to make an impromptu speech, but when he took the microphone Tommy, who was still right next to me, had other ideas. He stood up and shouted, “Kelly! Holy shit you’re here? Holy shit you old dog. Hey, where’s your broken foot? I haven’t seen you for a while knucklehead.” This was all loud enough for a room with over a 1000 people to hear and laugh at. Tommy was in full cry. He actually knows Kelly well, shares a birthday with him and has made him boards. He also obviously doesn’t care less how many world titles he’s won. It was all Kelly could do to joke, “Can somebody get security on to that guy? … He’s never forgotten a thing.” When Tommy kept ranting and Kelly got genuinely a little pissed off I was forced to play minder and try to settle him down a little.
When Tommy eventually let Kelly have the stage he talked about the aforementioned scuffle he and Mick had. “Mick and I had a funny little thing a couple of years ago. We both got a little bit drunk… Almost got in a fight. He called the next day and kind of cried it out and said sorry… That’s the way it is with Mick he’s a real straightforward guy.”
Kelly also suggested that surfing against Mick brought the best out in him. “I don’t get nervous (when I surf against Mick) because I know I can’t afford to be nervous. I have to be on my game for sure to beat you… I think you ended up just a couple ahead of me (in man on man heats) so it’s pissing me off. This retirement thing is kind of pissing me off.” All said in good humour.
The first official speaker for the night was Joel Parkinson, Mick’s childhood friend, lifelong mate, and major rival. All these bases were covered after Parko set the tone for the night and explained there would probably be a few expletives uttered and a number of stories that would make Mick squirm. “I have to apologise but everyone has done nothing but praise Mick and I have to take him back to the real Coolangatta.”
Prompted by photos on a big screen, Parko gave a speech that was both hilarious and heartfelt. There was the story about Mick knocking Joel’s teeth out in a backyard sparring battle and the time Mick was given a red Porsche on loan and drove all the way to Steve Irwin zoo with the top down and returned, much to his mates’ delight, a brighter shade of red than his fancy car.
Parko proudly boasted he had been drunk on wine when he thrashed Mick in Europe one year and suggested the loss was the inspiration for Mick’s initial world title rampage. Joel also conceded that in 2009 when they were neck and neck in the title race, it created tension in their relationship. “Walking around Coolangatta was like being in a town with two football teams,” he recalled. He also spoke in awe of Mick’s surfing at J-Bay and ultimately acknowledged him as a best mate and great champion. “It feels surreal to put you in my categories of MR’s and the like – you definitely belong there, but I honestly see you as my mate. Now I’m coming to terms with it you are one of the greatest sporting and surfing stars to ever grace our planet.”
Around this time Tommy threw a knife at one of the Harrington brothers and called Darren Handley, who was seated behind us, “Jet ski”. When Darren got up Tommy also promptly stole his seat for a while, so I stole Tommy’s steak and gave him the chicken, which he eventually looked at scornfully and ordered another beer.
Ronnie Blakey was introduced by Rosie as the ‘best commentator in surfing’. “Girls want to be with him and guys want to be him,” she suggested, borrowing a popular phrase.
Ronnie also doubles as Mick’s media manager. He immediately reflected on meeting Mick for the first time as a spindly-limbed kid and thinking “This guy is going to be the best albino surfer Australia has ever seen… Mick managed to make that tangled frame of wiry limbs just work.”
Away from the PC restrictions of the WSL booth Ron was at liberty to loosen up a little and elaborated on his salmon fishing adventure to Alaska with Mick. “Has anyone seen Brokeback Mountain… well it was nothing like that?” he joked. Referencing the bears in the area where they were camping Ronnie reflected, “This was only a year after the shark thing so I wasn’t really keen on sharing a tent with the old apex predator magnet.”
At some point Phil Jamieson from Grinspoon was called on to the stage to sing three songs for Mick. He kicked off with the iconic surf track ‘More than You Are’. For some reason this made Tommy feel like he was also part of the live entertainment and he began howling and hollering at the top of his voice as if requested to perform out of key back-up vocals. Eventually Tommy got tired and Jamieson, who had helped Mick celebrate his first world title with a gig at Coolangatta, was granted an uninterrupted moment to farewell an old friend.
Next to the stage was Mick’s mum, Liz. It is an oft-used cliché that behind every great man there is a great woman but as Liz talked through a number of childhood episodes involving Mick and his four siblings, it was clear that she was a genuine matriarch figure who had played a critical role in his success. It was Liz, with her masters in nursing and mental health, who raised five kids as a single Mum, Liz who ferried the kids to the beach when they briefly lived in Sydney’s western suburbs, Liz who had to be both a mother and a manager for Mick as he manoeuvred through the many pitfalls of a professional surfing career. Liz explained that she quit her job as the manager of a mental health service when Mick asked her to be his manager. She delighted in telling the audience that a surf industry figure had once called her a ‘lioness’ after witnessing her ruthlessly negotiate on behalf of her talented, surfing son.
By the time Mick took the stage, a couple of Rip Curl employees had been assigned to keep Tommy under control, so that the man whose career we were honouring could talk in peace. Tommy still managed to shout, “Kirra Boardriders,” at the top of his lungs a couple of times, obviously eager to remind Mick that like Tommy and MP, he was a member of Kirra boardriders and not Snapper.
Eager to score a few a points back after Parko’s roasting Mick almost immediately called on a few anecdotes of his own.
“I’ve never told you this before Joel, but after your 2012 world title I had to drive past your head (on a billboard on the wall of ‘Kirra Surf ‘) every single day. ‘Pipeline Champion’ ‘World Champion’. And I was like ‘f&*k this!’ I’m not losing again. So that was my motivation for winning in 2013.”
However, the good-natured competitive banter was backed up with sincere proclamations. “Parko’s one of my best friends. He’s been there through thick and thin. Seriously you don’t understand the shit we’ve been through. And I wake up every day and I respect you… because you’re a good human, you’re a good person and you’re a beautiful husband… thankyou for being my mate and my guide through this journey.”
Recapping on the traumatic shark incident, Mick stated, “This is the only time I’ve been candid about it. I was petrified. I thought that day I was gone. I cocked my wrist and thought I’m dead. I love you all, and by.”
Mick also made special mention of Ace Buchan’s wife, Beck, Adriano de Souza and Julian Wilson for their support on the day. Aware that he was keeping himself and other competitors in the room up late Mick gave a shout out to Kieren Perrow. “KP what’s happening am I making the call in the morning?” Perhaps he did.
As Mick’s speech wrapped up I remember seeing Tommy Peterson leaving the room with a Globe tucked under his arm. Along with wobble-head Mick Fanning dolls, the globes had been placed on every table as mini thematic installations. A stick on star marking each of the destinations where Mick had claimed a victory. Tommy obviously wanted a souvenir for his night of trouble making; I confess I followed suit and grabbed one too.
