WSL jibes, wave pool proclamations and the real price of perfect barrels.
In a month where the WSL took over Indo, big Willy took over Uluwatu and Julian took over the lead, plenty of other surf shizzle went down all over the planet. Tracks, of course, was there to capture it. Here’s what the key players said in yet another action packed four weeks of surfing.
“From a production stand point it’d be great to have seen the WSL celebrate Indonesian surfers, tell stories about the region and give a true sense of the contribution Indonesia has given to surfing and surfers around the world.” In the second instalment of the WSL report card, Alex Workman requests a bit of local intervention. Or we could keep listening to Pete Mel could talk about the double concave on Kolohe’s back up 5’10”.
“$3000 ticket for a 20 second barrel?” Brett Barley counts the cost of a recent mission to Namibia. Would you pay three G for a tube? The answer is, obviously, yes.
“Here he’s dusted off some unseen reels from his archives for our viewing pleasure. Warning: May cause acute nostalgia.” Legendary film maker Dick Hoole showcases some unseen Burleigh gold from the late ’70s.
“Around that time surfing at Narrabeen was like paddling out in the middle of a CT expression session. Just one that had been crossed with a cage fight.” From an article detailing the demise of Sydney as a world surfing hotspot.
“As a nation, there are five Brazilians in the Top 10, four in the Top 5. It seems inevitable one will be crowned World Champ in 2018. Our pick is Italo.” In the first instalment of the WSL Report Card, Alex Workman talks up the Brazilian storm.
“And Italo might be just the kind of champ we need right now. The kind who could put to bed this bullshit internet-based racism that’s been doing the rounds for way too long.” Seabird Brooks also weighs in.
“And with the Gerard Butler voice over that opens Chasing Mavericks, Hollywood yet again squats down and adds another turd to the pile of mainstream surf movies.” How friggin hard is it? From an article why Hollywood just doesn’t get surfing.
“In the last few decades the best big wave guys didn’t have a whole lot of talent, they just had the biggest balls. They’d go out when nobody else would. It just attracted people who were nuts.” Shane Dorian on how seriously talented surfers are now in the big-wave ranks and the effect on performance that will have.
“What a f**ken time to be a surfer and how the hell did I weasel my way right into the thick of this space race going on with the wave pool moment?” After testing Waco and tweaking Kelly’s Surf Ranch, Albee Layer is, suddenly, the go to guinea pig for artificial wave technology.
“Progression? Who needs it when you can move 100 kilos around with such nimble dexterity.” Willian Cardoso’s match ratings after the Margarawatu Pro.
“At the height of its pendulum arc, Wright leapt from the ball, testicles and mullet trailing in the wind and landed with a splash bang-smack on the inside of the Keramas lineup.” No, this didn’t happen. Just a laboured dreamscape to make an analogy between Mikey Wright and a Wrecking Ball.
“So we say, quit it suit! Let the surf fans see Strider get a wave! Because who doesn’t want to see a ginger wearing the WSL fat suit get pitted? Let Strider surf! #letstridersurf” Hannah Anderson is worried Strider isn’t getting enough.