It's been a busy month for surfing verbosity.
Ever noticed how the surfing world never stops turning? Well, in August it seems the revolutions were suddenly in hyperdrive. WSL owner Dirk Ziff finally appeared, while Teahupoo didn’t. There was New Zealand surf zealots, Filipe Toledo packing bombs and new artificial wave technology. We’ve picked the juiciest quotes from another epic moon cycle of surf snizzle.
“Bullets were fired missing a 14-year-old surfer and two adults who were surfing an isolated west coast break some surfers say is by invitation only.” - We’ve heard of a break firing, but these Kiwis really pushed the localism envelope.
Most of us are too caught up or cowardly to toss it all in and just go surfing, but Bob followed that path with a monastic zeal. Little Av’ was his equivalent of a shrine and surfing it as regularly as possible was his sacred ritual.” - The Editor mourns the passing of the Northern Beaches surf identity Avalon Bob who died surfing at his shrine.
“The second option is he falls off tour, restocks his shit-wave quiver, and jumps back on the grind. Career suicide, most likely.” - Seabird Brooks rules out one of the options Matt Wilkinson faces if he fails to make the CT cut for 2019.
“Ted Spencer was conflicted about competition but he could be pretty good at it. He won Bells in both 1968 and 1969.” - John Witzig’s Images from a Golden Age are currently surfing’s best form of time travel.
“You should be able to hear him shouting from the pool deck. ‘Get out of the way Kelly, mini Dorian, corporate Johnny, Blink 182, Matt Meola and Rob Machado, I’ve got practice to do and a world title to win.’” - Luke Kennedy hypothesises on what Julian Wilson should be saying in the lead up to the Surf Ranch Pro.
“The idea of building anything ON a beach is not intelligent, the proposal to extend on the current seawall and build a skate park further out from that is absolutely preposterous.” - Surfrider Foundation has put South Newcastle Beach on the endangered list due to a proposed skate park development.
“But we remain having the best and most iconic locations on Tour wherever possible. But there are commercial considerations we need to take into account as well.” - WSL CEO Sophie Goldschmidt sitting on the channel, and on the fence, in Teahupoo regarding the CT calendar for 2019.
“Wilson also had every chance to win that heat and given his obvious talent and proven Teahupoo pedigree, questions again have to be asked about his mental strength on why he didn’t.” - Was Tahiti the end of the road for Julian Wilson’s World Title hopes?
“The Airwave is a relatively compact structure, and is installed in quite shallow water. It causes the swell to break in both directions from one well-defined takeoff point. Consequently the Airwave is characteristically a bowling a-frame, which then produces a concave wall peeling to the beach.” - Designer Troy Bottegal introduces another artificial reef concept. The Airwave is a self-anchoring, inflatable dome that can be installed in three days.
“And then he decides to transform the future of the sport by imagining, designing, and delivering a magic wave machine. I hope world peace is next on your agenda, buddy, because if anyone can get it done, you can.” - Dirk Ziff spunks his load all over Kelly Slater after receiving the Waterman of the Year Award at an Industry Ball in the States.
“We continue to have an antiquated system for determining world champions, in which all events count the same, and points are simply added up until someone has an insurmountable lead, regardless of when that happens.” - Ziff then turns his attention to the CT ratings system. He has a point, no?
“Journalists, and other influential voices who unload on social media. I wonder if some of you get up every day and stir the milk into your coffee, thinking about what you can write that day that might humiliate the WSL.” - Before finally turning his attention on the “haters.” To which our response might simply be; Have you watched “Get Sent”.