I couldn’t believe my eyes or my ears. This new WSL live Facebook broadcast really was something. Was that Mikey Wright, as naked as a new born lamb, straddling a massive wrecking ball that was being swung from the top of the Kommune pool’s Floodlights? At the height of its pendulum arc, Wright leapt from the ball, testicles and mullet trailing in the wind and landed with a splash bang-smack on the inside of the Keramas lineup, ready for his Round 3 match up with Julian Wilson. Over the PA, this incredible entrance was soundtracked by the Mylie Cyrus, turned up to ear bleeding levels.
“I came in like a wrecking ball
Yeah, I just closed my eyes and swung
Left me crouching in a blaze and fall
All you ever did was break me
Yeah, you wreck me.”
Turns out, I couldn't’ believe my ears or my eyes. It was just late and my mind had wandered. I shouldn’t have had that 14th port and coke. Or that last Pottz analogy. It was clearly a ludicrous suggestion. If Mikey was ever going to enter the water to a Cyrus soundtrack, it would obviously be to his mullet spirit animal Billy Ray’s Achy Breaky Heart.
Make no mistake though Wright keeps putting a wrecking ball through World Title hopes. He helped start the decline of John John on the Gold Coast and now has given Julian Wilson an achy breaky heart. With Felipe Toledo, Italo Ferreira and Gabriel Medina all still in the event there’s every chance Wilson will relinquish the Jeep Leader Jersey by the time the Corona Bali Protected is done.
For this state of affairs, you can thank the WSL. While there is absolutely no rhyme, reason or official protocol to keep giving Mikey the wildcards spots, while he keeps beating the very best in the world, it’s hard to argue with the call. Some of his fellow QS surfers might argue that he has been given a golden pass to qualify without going through the grind. Yet having surfed one event less than everybody else he was ranked 24th going into Bali, a rating that is now set to climb. It’s all the more impressive in that he has done it by continually beating the top seeds. While his freesurfing has undeniably been in the top pay grade in recent years, this year he has proven he can do it under pressure and in competition. His post heat interviews may not exactly live up to the image of a free radical, but that’s because he’s all business when the singlet is on.
His mere presence has also kept the CT field fairly bunched, as every time one of the favourites looks set to get on a roll, Wright stops them in their tracks. That isn’t not about to stop, after Keramas he heads straight to Uluwatu where his first heat will be up against John John Florence. With the Hawaiian now having officially the worst start to a title defence in the last 20 years, Wright is the last man he needs in his life right now. Especially if he rocks up naked on a wrecking ball.
