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Wax Up Your Guns

The world's best big wave surfers start scrambling to WA ahead of a storm the size of Australia.

“Mate, I don’t want to talk about this thing ‘till it’s over…assuming I’m not dead.”

Jamie Scott is only half joking. The photographer is aimlessly walking around his Margaret River home unsure of what’s about to come and he ain’t the only one.

In the highly unlikely event you’ve not jumped online in the past 24 hours, a gelatinous purple blob is headed straight towards WA bringing with it waves, big ones.

How big? When rumours start circulating Mark Healey is on his way one can safely assume the trusty 7’2’’ ain’t gonna cut it.

“I wish,” replied Healey to the email asking for confirmation of his arrival (he uses emoticons!)

“I’m in LA and have to do a show I committed to a while ago. Hope the crew scores.”

Yeah, but still. Jamie Mitchell definitely was on his way.

“He’s not coming for a haircut either,” chided Paul “Antman” Patterson.

“He’s not really one for mucking around.”

By midday, local news crews have moved into overdrive and the impending swell finally (and thankfully) knocked Zaky Mallah and a topless Clementine Ford off the main page.

“A once in a decade Monster Swell about to hit WA,” trumpeted WA Today.

“The biggest waves are tipped for Margaret River, which should have big-wave surfers flocking to the region this weekend.”

Which suited Chris Ross and photographer Russell Ord just dandily. The two, and a host of other usual suspects, had hightailed it out of town and headed south as soon as the magic numbers appeared on the screen.

“Nah mate, it’s flat down here,” reported Ord later that day, perhaps not telling the entire truth.

“Hardly worth it.”

Time, or perhaps Instagram, will tell what the next 48 hours will bring. Biggest ever, just ask Kelly. Apparently he’s on his way.

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