The first event of the WSL World Championship season is weeks away. Pottz is reciting his 1989 World Title stories, Joe Turpel is wrapping up recording on his sleep therapy album and Strider is tightening up those pecs.

It’s a tough gig being a WSL commentator. One criticism from traditionalists on the current crop is that they tend to deliver sleep-inducing monologues void of any colour or controversy. It can at times lack, as Pottz likes to say, ‘Pizazz’. 

There’s no question the WSL is trying to polish surfing into a shiny new sport for mainstream audiences. Producers are keeping commentators on a short leash. ‘Sorry we won’t see Occy back in the booth. No, we won’t call bullshit on Frederico Morais’ J-Bay 10-point-ride. These are ‘athletes’ we’re talking about, and surfing is a very serious sport.’ 

But as Travis Ferre from What Youth and Chris Binns, former Surfing Life editor, take over the airwaves with their irreverent coverage of the Volcom Pipe Pro with ‘The Other Guys’, we wondered who we’d love to see handed a mic and Pirate Radio the upcoming WSL season.

So, without further ado….

Freddy P & Kai Otton

Are you kidding, could you imagine a better duo skewering the judges? No suss call would get past these guys. What’s it like to destroy a board in frustration? Freddy P has felt it. Ever wondered how to surf high tide Rincon in an elimination round heat at Bells? Ottz will take you there.

Who better to make the big calls at Snapper than Freddy P.

Barton Lynch & Shane Beschen 

Two of the keenest observers of high performance surfing. Both had long, successful careers on the world stage and have seen the sport go to the next level. Barton would provide a more animated take on the action. While the always-brooding Beschen will take a scalpel to a score, dissect and cross-examine it like no one else. If you want a raw analysis on the state of high performance surfing, what’s getting rewarded, what should and why, then let these two break it down.

Jake Patterson & Mark Occhilupo

Remember when pro surfing used to be fun? More candid, less scripted and dare I say, loose. Well hello Dream Team! Lock these two in a room with an esky full of cold ones and bust out the popcorn, you’re in for a show. Expect heavy banter, war stories from the tour in the 90s & noughties, plus get the inside track on who you should put your money on in the next round. There will be no such thing as ‘dead air’ ever again.

Supercoach Patto has been on the mic before, would you welcome him back?

Sean Doherty & Nick Carroll

Two of the world’s best known surf writers. As if you don’t want to hear what they’re thinking? Having both served as former editors at Tracks and seen surfing come of age over the past four decades, their insights would be boundless. Surfing’s days of being part of the ‘counter culture’ might be over and these two have lived through it all to where it sits now in the mainstream. Let them try make sense of it all.

Have we missed anyone?

Who would you love to see behind the WSL desk?